Intentional Acts of Kindness

As we wrap up 21 Days of Gratitude, I am truly grateful!  Grateful for the journey and thankful for those who joined me.  I will continue gratitude as a daily practice as it has changed my life in a powerful way.  It is true, the Tetris Effect has taken over, and I am constantly noticing what is good and beautiful in my world.  Studies show that practicing gratitude daily makes us happier and I have found this to be true in my life.

Next we will practice 21 Days of Intentional Acts of Kindness.  Like gratitude, practicing intentional acts of kindness (daily) has the power to increase our baseline for happiness.  In other words, when we extend kindness toward others as a daily practice, WE actually become happier.  Not to mention what it does for the people we are extending kindness to.  And it doesn't stop there.  So please join me as we change our little corner of the world one intentional act of kindness at a time, from one human being to another.

Intentional acts of kindness can be built into our routines for ease and habit formation.  That is how I suggest you begin.  So designate a time every day when you will dedicate 5 minutes to performing 1-5 intentional acts of kindness.  This can be sending an email (or 5) letting someone know you appreciate them.  It can be bringing in the morning paper.  It can be popping in on a coworker for an authentic, face-to face, "Good morning, how are you doing?" check in.  Whatever it is, keep it simple, and build it into your day.  Do it very day for the next 21 days.  And let it be something that you can continue after the 21 days.  You can also sprinkle intentional acts of kindness throughout your day doing things such as paying for a cup of coffee for the next guy in line, letting the person behind you at the grocery store go first, making a meal for your family, letting someone merge in traffic, smiling at a stranger, picking up trash on the street, putting your cart back at the grocery store, letting the frantic person at the airport go through security in front of you, cleaning up someone else's mess...the list goes on.  Have fun with it and see how many different ways you can practice intentional acts of kindness, besides during your routine practice time.

For other terrific ideas on intentional acts of kindness I recommend reading http://metropolitanmama.net/2009/06/17-intentional-acts-of-kindness/.
I look forward to our journey!

An Herbivore Among Meat Eaters

I recently celebrated a birthday and my gift to myself was a vegetarian diet.  (Shh!!!)  Vegetarianism is a concept I have been admiring and courting for a long time, and I am very excited to venture into this new, healthier way of nourishing my body!  So far so good, except that I am now a plant eater among meat eaters.  So I am giving it a shot for one year and then I will reassess, based on how I feel.  I have been told that I will feel much better, have more energy, and I am aware of the health benefits which is the engine which is powering this locomotive of change.

Vegetarianism is an unspeakable phenomenon to the rest of my family.  If my husband had his way a meal would consist of brisket and a hamburger (hold the veggies) with a side of ribs and ham with bacon crumbles for dessert.  Vegetables for him are beans, pasta and potatoes.  To complicate matters further, I have four boys and when I serve a meatless meal I get questions and worried looks from at least two of them.  My husband just scavenges the refrigerator for animal products to add to the meal.  He could make a burrito out of baked ziti using slices of roast beef.  But my son eyes a casserole with fearful curiosity.  If there's no meat, it is ruined for him.  He'll ask, "Does that have meat in it!?!" with an energetic combination of discontent and doubt, foreshadowing a potential emotional meltdown.  Then he will proceed to eat the meal in a very dejected manner.

So as a vegetarian among a meat-eating family, I am left with only one realistic choice: serve meat!  But to satisfy my new dietary desires, I am adding a lot more veggie dishes to the tableside spread, along with the meat, which I now quietly avoid.  Hopefully this will result in my boys eating more vegetables, too.  I have not yet told them that I am opting out of their carnivorous ways.  That information in itself would have them categorize me into another clan, an outsider of sorts.  So for now I will just continue with business as usual at mealtime and discreetly opt out of partaking of the meat offering at the dinner table.  Oh, and I am going to continue eating seafood, so I will cook it more often.  Maybe that will confuse everyone and secure my cover...

Grateful for Gratitude

I happened upon some valuable research findings about gratitude a few years ago at a professional conference in Houston called the Up! Experience.  The study was on the science of happiness, and was conducted at Harvard and shared by a professor named Shawn Achor.  The research found that practicing gratitude increases our baseline for happiness.  In other words, by practicing gratitude daily we actually become more happy.  

Recently I decided to share this knowledge with my friends on Facebook.  21 days is how long it takes to create a habit so I am practicing 21 days of gratitude online.  On my status I am posting "Take two minutes to write down three things you are grateful for today.  GO!"  Then I write three things in the comments and wait.  Today we are 8 days in and I began wondering if people are not responding because they may believe my head is in the clouds.  

The thing is, that is not what gratitude is really about.  "Practicing" gratitude daily by writing down what we are grateful for is an intentional act designed to train the brain to seek, find and focus on the good things in life.  It is not to say that nothing is going wrong, but rather to say that despite whatever is going wrong, I still see the beauty in life.  When the brain seeks beauty for 21 days in a row, due to the Tetris Effect, it begins to search for beauty automatically.  And we cannot focus on what is good and bad simultaneously.  We see one or the other in this moment.  So I choose gratitude.  Won't you join me?

Find Your Passion and Live With Purpose

Steve Jobs was 56.  If work was his passion, then I'd say he lived his life brilliantly!  If anything else was his passion, then I'd say he failed miserably.  He gave his life to his work, which is not uncommon in our culture.  And 56 is not old.  Steve Jobs might have believed that he would have more time.  But he didn't.  How about you?  Are you living with passion today?  If you had 56 years to live, how many years more or less does that give you?  Would you finish fulfilled, and content with how you had lived?  What are you giving your time to?  Does it add joy and meaning to your life or is it a drain and meaningless?  "Got stress?"  What activities do you engage in that contribute to or reduce your stress?  These are some important questions worthy of considering if we want to find our passion and live with purpose.

My passion and purpose is people.  I am a mom of four boys, a lover of life, and an observer of all things family and relationship-oriented.  And I love spending time in nature.  I find it rejuvenating.  I take a daily walk to process my stress, enjoy the quiet, get some exercise, and prepare mentally for my day.  Many observations have been made on my morning walks.  An observation comes to mind regarding living with purpose.  I have noticed that the people smiling and waving at me a good majority of the time are NOT the ones driving the fancy, shiny, expensive vehicles.  In fact, I get the most enthusiastic waves from the golf course maintenance workers.  Truly contented smiles and waves.  And no, they are not after me!  And secondly, I get eye contact and waves, and sometimes even conversation, from the individuals who are out working in their yards.  Thirdly, I get mixed-friendly acknowledgement from others who are out exercising as well.  Mostly the walkers and bikers.  Although some of the exercisers seem to be under undue stress - mostly the runners.  Some runners even look like they are in pain and about to die.  I used to worry about them and then I took up running for a while.  Now I completely understand.  But I digress...  Back to my observations.  I receive little to no interaction from the people driving cars.  The people in cars seem to be rushing to get somewhere else.  They largely seem irritated.

I have been taking an hour outside walking 5 days a week for about 4 years now so these are not casual observations.  I often find myself wondering, if someone does not have the reserves to look another human being in the eye and smile, what might be going on in their life to prevent it?  I try to approach this type of situation with compassionate curiosity.  And I decided a long time ago that it is not about me, so I smile and wave anyway, even if they are stoic.  One time, a golfer waved at me and hollered hello from a distance with the enthusiasm of an old friend.  It was such a gift.  He may have thought I was someone else, sure.  But it was still refreshing!  So now I choose to be that person and wave and smile anyway.

SO consider this today...if your had one more day or one more year, or a decade or two or three, are you living in a way that supports your passion and your purpose?  Or are you driving to work so stressed that you do not make eye contact and wave to another if you pass in close proximity?  If so, are you satisfied living with disconnection and overwhelm?  If not, it may be time to consider making some adjustments.  I will close with one of my favorite quotes:  "There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. -Anais Nin  So as they say, Carpe Diem!  

Exercise...Is it your Prison, your Escape or your FREEDOM?

To me, exercise is freedom.  It is bliss!  It means I am fully alive and investing in my own well-being.  It means my body works well and is strong.  It means I am well.  It brings me peace.

Every day I wake up early before my boys and do a morning yoga routine.  I then go for a long, meditative morning walk.  Mid-day I am beginning to incorporate a 15-minute yoga sequence, and in the evenings I do a 15-minute chair workout working my arms, legs, and abs.  I want to continue these routines as long as possible.  I truly enjoy them and am nurtured and strengthened while doing them.  I also love to dance.  And I enjoy yoga classes.  In my free time I would happily participate in any outdoor activity imaginable such as gardening, hiking, skiing (water or snow), climbing, diving, rafting, zip-lining, biking, skating.  You name it!  Exercise is not a means to an end but an enjoyable activity for me.

What is exercise for you?  Society says we should exercise to make our bodies look more like Top Model or GQ material.  What is that honestly going to do for you?  Most of us are not going to be the next Top Model or GQ cover model.  Our confidence and self-assurance must come from a different source.  Our motivation must be intrinsically not externally derived.  I can almost assure you that if changing your body is your motivation, your exercise routine at best will not be sustainable (because it will not be enjoyable) and at worst, it will be your prison.  Exercise can also be an escape.  This will not be sustainable either, and may ultimately become dangerous.  Think addiction.  We can become addicted to any activity that we engage in as a method of escape.  So my encouragement to you today is to find an activity that you truly enjoy that also challenges you in some way physically, one that stretches you, strengthens you and gets your heart rate elevated. And make that your exercise!  Your body and soul will thank you, and you will not ever quit because the rewards are too great.  Exercise is not a punishment it is a privilege.  So go out and find your FREEDOM!

What is Integrative Health Coaching?

Are you ready to make your dreams a reality?  Ready to live an extraordinary life surpassing your present experiences and fulfilling your greatest desires?  Then Integrative Health Coaching may be for you...

What IS Integrative Health Coaching anyway?  
Think about an area of your life that you feel stuck and really want to make some changes.  Visualize what your life would be like if you were able to actually make those changes.  What would be possible for you?   How would your life be different than it is today?  And what might your life look like in five, ten or twenty years if you proceed on the current path?  I hope I've got you thinking!  


Integrative Health Coaching helps you arrive where you want to be, rather than finding yourself somewhere else accidentally.  It helps you get unstuck.  It helps you live with authenticity thereby improving your health and maximizing your enjoyment of life.   Integrative Medicine is health care that is patient or client-centered and focused on optimal health, rather than provider-centered and focused on illness.  It incorporates many different modalities for prevention and intervention including the best of Western medicine as well as numerous proven complimentary and alternative methods.  However, it is based on prevention through excellent self-care which is achieved by creating a Vision for Optimal Health and developing a Personalized Health Plan.



As an Integrative Health Coach I utilize The Wheel of Health established at Duke Integrative Medicine, which places YOU at the center.  And according to this model, Optimal Health includes fine-tuning and nurturing every aspect of who you are including nutrition/exercise/rest, physical environment, relationships, personal and professional development, spirituality, and the mind-body connection.  This model integrates all aspects of well-being.  It is an empowering model of health care as you partner with an Integrative Health Coach in creating a Personalized Health Plan and subsequently move successfully toward your Vision for Optimal Health.  It helps you break free from whatever has been holding you back from all that you want to do and be.  



To schedule an appointment, or if you would like more information on Integrative Medicine or Integrative Health Coaching, please send a message to my inbox including your contact information.  Coaching Sessions can take place in person, over the phone, or via Skype.